Creating Our Reality: A Matter of Perception/Expectation
March 25, 2013
A number of years ago I wrote an article called, Education vs Indoctrination vs Critical
Thinking, you can still read it on my blog HERE , in fact it was 2007 when I wrote that article. Today 2013,
I find that I’m still pondering those questions. The difference is that today I can see more
of the power of thought, the force and manipulation we submit ourselves to everyday in
order to ‘fit’ into our world.
As I consider what it means to be human or more often than not to consider what it means
to be spirit having a human experience, I wonder what else is possible. As I read the
many posts on social media these days that rally behind victims, or celebrate the ‘good’
fight I notice how interesting it is that we collectively accept these notions. What kind of
world would it be if we did not expect life to be struggle and hardship before reward and
Have you ever wondered if all that struggle is simply a state of mind? There is more
science today, than ever before, to support the concept that our beliefs create our reality.
Day by day I see the ‘stories’ and I listen to the amazing feats of human overcoming
nature, or the surprise we often respond with when someone does something to become
healthy. Its as if our collective expectation of life on this planet is to live in dire situations
for as long as possible and then decide to overcome it. We accept this as a normal process
seemingly to revel in our amazing success and finally celebrate with the world until we
see ourselves as magnificent. However, if we see the magnificence without the trials and
do not have to overcome some huge obstacle, then we risk being seen as arrogant, or
having a blessed life, undeserving of it. ‘Born with a silver spoon in our mouth’? Sound
familiar? We seem to ‘need’ the challenge before we can accept our reward. We seem to
believe that only earning our reward is acceptable. Our history, storybooks and fairytales
all have a theme; man vs nature, man vs man, or man vs beast (aka self). We were nourished on
these tales from birth. It’s in our media, news, work place cooler talk, and novels. We
gravitate to the horror, thrills, terrors like flies to honey. Even our so called love stories
have this theme of overcoming something in order to get the ‘joy’. It’s as if we cannot,
simply cannot enjoy life on this planet without it. Is it true?
So many people today are beginning to awaken to new possibilities and potentials.
Yet we still notice that collectively there is a very low sense of self worth. So many
individuals are seeking spiritual help to heal the lifetimes of oppression, submission, war,
starvation and so forth. We hear the message over and over again; we are loved, love is
all we need, love is the power, the truth will set us free and so on. We even hear people
suggest that we are perfect just the way we are! How bizarre? We want to believe it but
truly most of us do not. We don’t really believe we are perfect, nor can we accept that
everyone or anyone else is either. If we did we wouldn’t be so filled with judgment. We
wouldn’t be so ready to condemn and incarcerate people who we don’t like, or who do
things we simple consider ‘brutal, inhumane, anti-social’. But alas, we do it. (maybe you
do not, however most of us do, if not we wouldn’t have the world we do)
We do it in my opinion because we’ve been taught to do it. We’ve been taught to expect
some good people and some bad. We do it because we believe the shadow is always bad,
that there is evil in the world and it must be conquered. It’s the story of our collective
ideals. When we hear that we are perfect and want to believe it; we also challenge the
possibility. As I observe my world I find myself wondering if that is true; then we as
a species are so fearful of being rejected by our fellow human that we dare not grab
hold of the truth. We are such a group of community beings. We do not want to be
different; at least not different enough to be outcast from society. If we didn’t care about
that we could accept this as a truth and set us ourselves free us from all this unneccary
suffering. Presently it seems that for most of us, we simply cannot reach the optimum life
experience of abundance, joy, bliss and prosperity unless we have trudged through the
soil, desperation and suffering long enough to get a stamp of approval from the world.
Then and only then will we feel entitled to a life that we ‘know’ is possible. We know it,
or at least many of us do, but we are not living it.
I am challenging you along with myself, to celebrate every single person who knows
the truth and lives it. I submit this challenge for all parents to teach the next generation
the truth; life does not have to be hard, it doesn’t have to be war, or lack, or addictions
to destructive behaviours. We keep celebrating those we call, ‘survivors’ and add to
the importance of having a negative experience first before we can have joy. We keep
reinforcing the importance of fighting for everything we desire and wonder why we have
to keep on fighting?
I truly believe it is time to let go of our belief in the ‘need’ for suffering. This is not to
say that those who are do not deserve our compassion. I absolutely feel great empathy
for everyone who is experiencing loss, lack, suffering, trauma, drama and all the lower
energy emotions. We do it until we know better. This is perhaps the biggest lesson I have
learned through my life experience. We have such a reaction to anyone who declares that
we are creating our reality, if that reality is not what we want; but if it is what we want
then we are more than joyful in claiming that ‘yes I did it!’ We cannot have it both ways.
Either we create our reality or somebody else is both to blame for the negative results and
responsible for the good. I do not have all the answers to this human condition, rather
I have more questions every time I consider it. This is one of those big questions that
seems to be begging me to figure it out. I have suffered plenty in this life, don’t get me
wrong but when I realize that I created the whole darn mess, that was both liberating and
amazing to me.
I created it! Wow! I declare that some of it really doesn’t make a lot of sense, but most
of it does. I learned lessons that I wouldn’t have learned from a text book. Some of the
lessons took many, many repetitions to get the message behind it and incorporate the
changes in my life, so as not to repeat again.
Sometimes I wanted to learn patience, so I had to wait. Sometimes I needed to learn
compassion, so I experienced great sorrow myself. Sometimes in order to see what it
felt like to be submissive I entered into relationships where I had no power; or at least
it appeared that way. Then when I remembered that I always had my own power I
was able to thank the one who oppressed or tried to control me. Some of our lessons
could be learned much gentler, sometimes the one teaching us is inappropriate in their
administration. Being aware of this can truly expand ones appreciation for both teacher
and student. Sometimes I will be the teacher, often I will be the student; mostly I am
Today I share my thoughts in an effort to simply shine a light. If it helps the reader to
expand their understanding then it served it’s purpose. I do not know if I am right or not.
What matters to me is the exploration of ‘what if’? What if we could allow our children
to grow up learning the lessons they came to learn without the expectation of great
suffering in order to learn them? What kind of world would it be?
About the author:
Catherine Whelan Costen is the host/producer of an online chat show called, Lets Get
Real Chattin with Catherine; a show that features guests exploring what if from all
aspects of life. She is the author of many articles on social, political, life, death as well as
the publisher/author of Fr. Walter Krewski’s Life Journey. Catherine’s experiences in life
have taken her through Canadian provincial/federal politics, overcoming Fibromyalgia/
Chronic Fatigue Syndrom, and more. You can read more about her on the LGRCC
website at http://letsgetrealchattinwithcatherine.com/