The Inner Work Of Sustainability by Rita Desnoyers-Garcia

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The Inner Work Of Sustainability by Rita Desnoyers-Garcia

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Over the past few years, I’ve been expanding what I thought “sustainability” means in
my life. I’ve been going inward more and more and when something “unsustainable”
comes up, I’ve been looking at it from a different perspective. Sometimes in the
beginning there’s been a “oh no! I thought I was done with that!” response. But shortly
afterward, I see it for what it is. An opportunity to let go of what no longer serves me. It
is no longer sustainable. It no longer sustains or supports me.

This inner work included letting go of needing to get answers from the outside, the
need to be perfect, the need to be liked by everyone, the need for approval and so on.
These are no longer sustainable for me. Then, I noticed that as I let go of the inner
unsustainable ways of being, I started to have more interest and energy for outward, more
conventional sustainability practices.

I’ve been focused on food sustainability, using less plastic, using what I have versus
buying something new and so on. My inner sustainability was intertwined with my
desire to bring sustainable practices into the physical world. It really is all connected.
Sustainability is not just an outside job. It is sustained through inner work.

Here’s a nifty exercise to increase and support your inner and outer sustainability.

You just need You, a chair, and perhaps something to write with and onto. Read through
the entire exercise first before playing with this.

Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes, and take three breaths in through the nose and
out through the mouth, slowly and deeply. Allow your body to relax with each breath.
As you come back to your normal breathing continue to allow yourself to relax each part
of your body. If you notice a part of your body that is tense, see if you can relax it with
the next breath. Just take a few minutes to sit with your breathing. If you have other
thoughts that come in, that’s OK. Recognize them and let them go and come back to
your breath. Stay in this space for as long as you like.

After sitting in this place for about 5 minutes, you can continue by asking yourself these
questions:
1) What feels sustainable in my life right now? In other words, what brings life,
support, joy, pleasure, freedom, relaxation? Enjoy it. Support more of it. Relish
it.
2) What feels unsustainable in my life right now? In other words, what brings
lack, fear, restriction, sadness? Can I let this go? Can I see it from another
perspective? Is this working for me anymore?

When it feels like you have some information to play with here, give thanks for this
wisdom and slowly open your eyes. Make notes of the answers that came to you about
what sustains and doesn’t sustain you or what can or can’t continue on anymore. Make

no judgments of the answers as much as you can. See what unfolds over the next few
hours and days.

 

Rita Desnoyers-Garcia is an Energy Healer, Spiritual Life Coach, Author, Musician,
and Channel. Her website is www.BecomingAwake.com.

Skip College For Success? By iKE ALLEN

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Knowledge is not Power! Applied knowledge is power.
Regardless of where your knowledge comes from, when you apply it wisely, success is probable.

A couple weeks ago, I was talking with Bob Proctor about the fact that neither of us had gone to college and for us, it would have been a waste of time.

Yes, a college degree can help you in certain circumstances, but as I look back in history, many successful people achieved astounding success without “higher education.” Often, colleges teach you to get a job and as many recent college graduates know, there aren’t a lot of those around. Bob and I preferred to skip school to become Entrepreneurs and create our own sense of security.

Life is a game that can be played countless ways, if you’re Inspired to spend a small fortune and years in college, go for it. If you’re going to school out of Obligation or because you think you MUST to be successful, check out this list of people who dropped out or never even began college and still achieved great success.

 

People Who Didn’t Complete or never began College:

Richard Branson, billionaire founder of Virgin Music.
R. Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome.
Bill Gates, billionaire co-founder of Microsoft.
Debbi Fields, founder of Mrs. Fields Cookies.
Peter Jennings, news anchor.
Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computers and Pixar Animation.
Mary Lyon, founder of Mount Holyoke College (America’s first women’s college).
Karl Rove, presidential advisor.
Walt Disney — you know Disney don’t you?

John Mackey, founder of Whole Foods.
Sergey Brin, billionaire founder of Google.
John Carmack, cofounder of Id Software.
Andrew Carnegie, industrialist and philanthropist.
Scott Carpenter, astronaut.
John Chancellor, TV journalist and anchorman.
Winston Churchill, British prime minister.
Charles Culpeper, multimillionaire owner and CEO of Coca Cola.
Michael Dell, founder of Dell Computers.
George Eastman, multimillionaire inventor and founder of Kodak.
Larry Ellison, billionaire co-founder of Oracle software company.
Carly Fiorina, CEO, Hewlett-Packard.
Bobby Fischer, chess master.
Henry Ford, billionaire founder of Ford Motor Company.
J. Paul Getty, billionaire oilman.
Amadeo Peter Giannini, multimillionaire founder of Bank of America.
Hyman Golden, multimillionaire cofounder of Snapple.
Dean Kamen, multimillionaire inventor of the Segway.
Tommy Lasorda, baseball manager.
Ralph Lauren, billionaire fashion designer, founder of Polo.
Charles Lindbergh, aviator.
Jack London, bestselling novelist.
Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brazilian president.
Steve Madden, shoe designer.
John Major, British prime minister.
Herman Melville, novelist, Moby Dick.
Karl Menninger, psychiatrist.
Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens).
Cornelius Vanderbilt, railroad magnate.
Theodore Waitt, billionaire founder of Gateway Computers.
DeWitt Wallace, founder and publisher of Reader’s Digest.
William Safire, columnist for the New York Times.
Colonel Harlan Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC).
Vidal Sassoon, multimillionaire founder of Vidal Sassoon.
Richard Schulze, billionaire founder of Best Buy.
William Shakespeare, playwright, poet.
Barry Goldwater, U.S. senator and presidential candidate.
David Green, billionaire founder of Hobby Lobby.
Joyce C. Hall, founder of Hallmark.
Harold Hamm, billionaire oil wildcatter.
William Randolph Hearst, newspaper publisher.
Isaac Merrit Singer, sewing machine inventor.
Walter L. Smith, president of Florida A&M University.
Will Smith, Grammy-winning rapper, actor.
Alfred Taubman, billionaire chairman of Sotheby.
Jack Crawford Taylor, billionaire founder of Enterprise Rent-a-Car.
Dave Thomas, billionaire founder of Wendy’s.
Ted Turner, billionaire founder of CNN and TBS.
John Simplot, billionaire potato king.
Ty Warner, billionaire developer of Beanie Babies.
Sidney Weinberg, managing partner of Goldman Sachs.
Steve Wozniak, billionaire co-founder of Apple.
Wilbur Wright, inventor of the airplane.
Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, billionaire.
Claude Monet, painter.
Dustin Moskovitz, multi-millionaire co-founder of Facebook.
Walter Nash, prime minister of New Zealand.
David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue airlines.
David Oreck, founder of The Oreck Corporation.
George Orwell (aka Eric Blair), author of Animal Farm and 1984.
Larry Page, billionaire founder of Google.
James A. Pike, Episcopal bishop.
Ron Popeil, multimillionaire founder of Ronco.
Leandro Rizzuto, billionaire founder of Conair.
John D. Rockefeller Sr., billionaire founder of Standard Oil.

I believe each person has a Gut Instinct/Intuition that guides them in all areas of their lives.

I invite you to follow your Inspiration in all you do and enjoy the ride in The Ultimate Human Amusement Park that we call life. 

-iKE

-iKE ALLEN is the founder of www.avaiya.com and believes YOU have everything you need to succeed already within you.

Visit me on Facebook to rant: http://www.facebook.com/IamIkeAllen

The Art of Writing. With Katrina Mayer

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The Art of Writing

The Art of Writing

My earliest memory of writing was as a very young child. We were on a family vacation in Rocky Point, NY. It was summertime and my father and I sat at a picnic table outside our rental cottage. The weather was warm and sunny as we sat comfortably in the shade. I remember feeling a breeze which brought with it scents from a nearby beach. My baby brother was with my mother in the house, which let my Dad and I spend some quality time together. Life was magical and all was perfect.

On the table in front of me were sheets of paper and a pencil. My father picked up the pencil and handed it to me as we began my first writing lesson. It seemed that I wasn’t holding the pencil properly, and my suspicions proved correct. Luckily, Dad was there to show me the “right” way to hold it. But even at that age I was a bit stubborn and continued to hold to pencil in my own unique way. I guess he got tired of correcting me because to this day I still hold the pencil with my fingers all squashed together.

I’m not sure how much of the alphabet I mastered on that beautiful day, but I did feel that something significant happened. I felt a door open to a new world and I was thrilled to go running through it with delight.

The next two major events in my writing life took place at Wenonah Elementary School. In third grade I participated in a contest and was awarded first place for having the best handwriting in the school. I still remember the items I bought with the five dollar grand prize. And while I paid much attention to my new purchases, I also developed an appreciation for clear, neat legible handwriting. To this day people comment about my handwriting and I think about that contest every single time.

The next big event was in fourth grade when we were given an assignment to write a one page story. My story was entitled, “A Day in The Life of My Hamster.” I think I described my hamster’s cage, his food, the smell of the cedar chips, the wheel and his water bottle. It was my first taste of telling a story and I got an A+. I was hooked.

Shortly after that I began keeping a diary, writing puppet shows with my neighbor and putting pen to paper more than the average child. I enjoyed playing with words, writing poems and creating stories. Everything about writing appealed to me and I declared at the age of ten that I’d write a book some day.

Since then I have written almost every day. Writing is like breathing to me. Even if it’s just a few emails or a Facebook post, I love to express myself through writing. And the added benefit of writing is that I get to stay in touch with all of you; for that alone I am extremely grateful.

But lately I’ve been thinking more about this craft I’ve chosen and how odd it truly is. It seems we’ve all agreed that a certain series of squiggles and spaces (with occasional dots and dashes) have specific meanings. And even without hearing me speak these words you infer my tones and inflections. From the squiggles, dots, dashes and assumed tone you, as a reader, find meaning (or not) in this communication. It may make you laugh, cry, smile, get angry or simply walk away from the computer in boredom. And all of this happens because I chose to move my pen across the paper in a certain way.

As I write this very sentence, my four-and-a-half month old Siamese kitten sits enthralled. She loves watching my hand move around the paper and occasionally puts her paw out to participate in my “game.” She watches me make marks then looks up at me with an inquisitive stare as if to say, “What exactly are you doing?”

And the truth is… I don’t know exactly what I’m doing. All I’m sure of is that I get a feeling in my heart accompanied by thoughts in my head, and together they travel down my arm until they spill out on the paper. From there I can merely hope and wish that something I’ve written, some of my squiggles, dots and dashes will make a difference to someone – even if that someone is only me. Because, you see, as odd as this art of writing truly seems, I just can’t stop. I can’t stop the movement of my hand across the page or the transference of thoughts and feelings through my pen. For better or worse, it is the art form I’ve chosen and I plan on continuing as long as I can hold a pen.

And now I ask you, what moves your heart? What art form or activity is as important to you as breathing? What is your passion? Are you making it part of your every day?

Well, the kitten’s now curled in a tight little ball by my side. She has indicated that it’s time to put my writing away and say good-bye to my friends. So, I thank you all for your beauty, kindness, support and love. You make this crazy art of writing worth it. And I sincerely hope you are as inspired to share your passion and art with the world.

Many blessings,

Katrina

Katrina Mayer is an author, motivational speaker, and founder of www.KatrinaMayer.com

10 Questions to ask yourSELF now!

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If you are willing to authentically answer these 10 questions, you will fill your SELF with LOVE while emptying your self of judgement, fear and illusion.

Please consider patiently and thoroughly answering this short list.  

1. Do you love yourSELF? 

2. What are you passionate about?

3. What are you most grateful for in your life? 

4. Who have you not forgiven? Are you willing to forgive them today? 

5. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Will you do it? 

6. What has been the biggest challenge in your life to date? How did it positively change you? 

7. What do you fear most in life? What could you do to erase that fear today?

8. What is your purpose in life? Are you living it?

9. What does Integrity mean to you? Body Integrity? Mind Integrity? Spiritual Integrity?

10. Did you actually take time to answer the first 9 questions for yourSELF? 

Congratulations!

If you’re Inspired, share your answers with a friend, your Facebook page or visit ours and share with our audience:  AVAIYA FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

-iKE ALLEN Founder of AVAIYA

 

Manage Your Money: Sufficiency and Spiritual Practice by Dan Millman

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Money is neither god nor devil,
but a form of energy.
Like love or fear,
it can serve you or bind you,
depending upon how you manage it.
By clarifying your goals
and using your gifts,
you can make good money,
doing what you enjoy,
while serving
the highest calling of your soul.
Using money wisely, and well,
you share your material
and spiritual wealth
with the world.
Road Map: The Flow of Money

In the context of personal growth, money is more than a means of exchange or ready cash. Although most of us have experienced periods of financial scarcity, our relationship to money reflects our relationship to energy and service and spirit, our ability to function in society, our openness to pleasure and abundance, our reality check. Money mirrors the quality of our interactions with other people, our ability to receive and to give. Money represents survival, security, safety, shelter, food, family, livelihood.

More complex, it turns out, than balancing your checkbook.

If spiritual life begins on the ground, money forms a foundation on which to build. Shivapuri Baba, an Indian Saint and yogi who walked around the world on a pilgrimage when he was nearly 120 years old, was once asked about the best way to begin a spiritual life. He advised, “first build a foundation—manage your money.” (He had acquired a small bag of gems in his younger years, through hard work and simple living; he drew upon these gems as needed.)

Money in Everyday Life

Pam, a friend who read an early version of this manuscript, said, “I don’t think that the chapter [in Everyday Enlightenment], Manage Your Money, is as important as the chapters about taming our mind or facing our fears—” Abruptly, she looked at her watch. “Oh, my gosh, look what time it is! The bank’s closing in ten minutes!” Wondering about why money was so important, Pam had to run to the bank.

On the way to the bank, Pam later told me that she realized how much of her time, thoughts, and attention revolved around money—paying the bills, balancing checkbooks, discussing costs of the room addition for their growing family. After the bank, she went food shopping, then stopped by the furniture store to check prices on a new bed for one of her children. All activities dealing with money. Like Pam, most of us have money concerns of one kind or another—striving to make more, or make do with less—learning to live simply, comfortably, spiritually.

Poor people may be forced to think about money a lot of the time, related to food, shelter, subsistence, and survival. Rich people may also think about money a lot of the time, related to status, travel, freedom, influence, and options. But managing your money does not depend upon becoming wealthy or declaring vows of poverty. Rather, it is about creating stability and sufficiency—a balanced flow of monetary energy through your life. This kind of management liberates you from survival issues, so that money concerns no longer occupy your mind or monopolize your attention. When money flows in, you spend it in a matter-of-fact way where it needs to go, where it will do the most good. You pay bills gladly, knowing that your money helps to support other people who in turn provide services for you. If something breaks, you write a check and get it fixed without further concern. Free from cycles of scarcity, your attention can ascend to higher levels of awareness and experience.

Money is like sex;
you think a lot about it
when you don’t have it,
and think of other things
when you do.
—James Baldwin

Spiritual Stereotypes

You can probably conjure up images of pure and holy people quite easily—monks with begging bowls, Indian ascetics, priests and nuns from every tradition who have renounced money in order to live a more spiritual life free of worldly distractions. Images of Jesus expelling money changers from the temple and quotations about money being the root of all evil and rich men having a tough time entering heaven and the meek inheriting the earth are quite familiar. Such images and ideas help create stereotypes that equate poverty and spirituality in the minds of many.

I don’t like money
but it calms my nerves.
—Joe Louis

Managing your money begins by acknowledging any mixed feelings, guilt, or negativity you may have about money and about those who possess it in abundance. If you associate voluntary poverty with humility, goodness, and spirituality, then with what do you associate wealth? It is worth pondering, because what you believe about money will determine, in large part, your effectiveness in acquiring it.

What Money Cannot Buy

Money cannot buy security, because security is a psychological state. To some, it means having enough food to eat, clothing on your back, a shelter over your head, or someone who loves you. To others, security requires millions of dollars in tax-free accounts around the world.

Money can’t buy love and happiness either. In one telephone survey, 275 people in the San Francisco Bay area were asked if they believed that they would be significantly happier and more loving if they had a million dollars. Seventy-six percent of the respondents replied, “Yes. Absolutely.” Then the research company contacted ten millionaires, and asked them, “Did making your first million dollars make you a happier or more loving person?” The response was unanimous: “No.”

The best things in life—the sun in the morning and the moon at night—are free. And money doesn’t guarantee happiness. But financial abundance does offer a number of practical benefits. Sleep, for one thing—very few affluent people stay up late worrying about having too much money. Money also buys privacy, space, and silence.

Three things help me
get through life successfully:
an understanding husband,
an extremely good analyst,
and millions and millions of dollars.
—Mary Tyler Moore

Wealthy people do have problems, but they have less to do with survival. There may be some forlorn rich people and some delighted poor people, but on the whole, managing your money certainly gives you a leg up.

Simple Principles for Sufficiency

In Walden Henry David Thoreau described how by living frugally, growing his own food, building a hut with scrap lumber he’d found on some land near Walden Pond, he would only have to work for six weeks a year to earn enough to live a quiet, contemplative life. There is much to admire about his experiment (which lasted a season or two), but such a life is not for everyone. You may not want to follow Thoreau to Walden Pond, but here are some simple principles that you can follow:

Live Below Your Means

Many of us believe our main money problem is how to make more of it, but how we spend it is in fact more important. Because as our income increases, so do desires and expenses. It’s all a matter of scale. Many wealthy people end up in debt.

No matter how much money you make,
if you spend more than you earn
you shall be eternally poor.
—Noah Webster

Money is so easy to spend that an alarming number of us have put away little or nothing toward our later years. Applying fiscal discipline is a central part of managing your money. Most affluent people become and stay that way due not to extraordinary incomes, but to an unassuming lifestyle and the self-discipline to spend less than they earn, while investing the rest.

Pay Yourself First

Make it an ironclad rule to pay yourself by putting away ten cents of every dollar you ever earn until you are seventy years old, and teach your children to do the same. Before you pay the bills, before you pay the IRS, before you give to charity, put that money away as if it never existed and learn to live on the rest, no matter what. Put that ten percent aside in a safe nest-egg account or very conservative investment and let compound interest work for you all day and all night over the years. Never mind the fancy investment strategies, schemes, and experts. If you do have money to experiment with, that’s icing on the cake. In a true emergency, give yourself a few days to decide if you really need to draw out any of the principal to spend. Never draw out more than half of the principal. At the age of sixty-five or seventy, it is yours to do with as you wish.

Earmark Your Money

Whether your income is derived from a salary with taxes withheld, or whether you are self-employed, one of the most practical steps you can take in managing your money is to create a budget, clearly earmarking your money for distinct categories. Once you’ve created the budget, then stick with it. While this is not a radical idea, few of us put it into practice, given the level of credit card debt in this country. Unless you already have tax withholding at your work, divide any income as follows: For every $1,000 you make—

  • Immediately put away $100 (10%) in your savings.
  • If you are self-employed, put aside whatever percentage of your gross income that goes to state and federal taxes.
  • If you are committed to donating a share of your income to charities, earmark that fund next; don’t wait until the end of the year to see if there’s anything left. If you decide to donate five percent of your gross income to charities, that would be $50 out of each thousand.
  • Put $50 into a rainy-day fund.
  • Put $50 into an account for Christmas, Hanukkah, or other holidays.
  • Put $50 into a vacation account.

That’s a total of $450, leaving $550 (out of every $1,000 you make) for household expenses: the mortgage or rent, food, utilities, medical care, etc. The exact percentages may vary from household to household, depending upon the makeup and age range of its members, but the principle is the same —earmark and budget your money. Exerting this financial discipline will eliminate a great deal of pre-tax as well as post-retirement stress. You gain self-reliance and self-respect by taking responsibility for managing your money in this way.

The Two Essentials of Business Success

In order to succeed in nearly any business enterprise, whether you work for a large corporation or are self-employed, you must operate on these two principles:

  • First, be good at what you do. That means ongoing study, practice, innovation, and refinement. Treat your work as a form of skill training. Never believe that you are as good as you can get. Each day, each year, strive to master your work. No matter what you do, if you become one of the best in your field, you will do well (if you also pay attention to the following principle).
  • Second, be good at promoting what you do. There is no telling how many exceptional, gifted people exist in every field who are not successful because they were unwilling to promote themselves. I know extraordinary musicians whose songs will never be heard by more than a few people, while the top forty charts include many forgettable but well-promoted clichés. It’s a sad irony that those most dedicated to their art or craft, who most love what they do, understandably want to spend their time getting better at what they do but fail to grasp the need to promote themselves.

Ask yourself: Am I good at what I do? Do I provide a valuable service? If the answer is no, then stay out of sight and work at improving what you do. But if your answer is yes, then blow your horn! You can’t help anyone if they don’t know you exist. Whether or not you have any innate interest in promotion and marketing—whether or not you enjoy it—it has to become at least half of your job, your energy, and your attention at the beginning stages of a new venture. Promoting your business helps you to help others and provide a valuable service in the world as only you can do it.

The service you render others
is the rent you pay for your room on earth.
—Wilfred Grenfell

The Soul of Money

It is easy to get lost in the practical details of managing money and forget the higher purpose of this gateway: to provide a foundation for spiritual practice and to free your attention from the task of survival. Lynne Twist, co-founder of The Hunger Project, put it this way to Michael Toms on New Dimensions Radio:

Money is an inanimate object [but] we can assign to it a spiritual meaning and voice and power if we choose to, and give it some soul. Money doesn’t have any soul, but we do, and we’re the people through whom money flows and with which money speaks . . . And when our spirit is unleashed, what’s unleashed is the prosperity of the soul, of the heart. . . and in that truth, the whole world belongs to you.

When I became committed to teaching whatever I learned, more information poured in. In the same way, as you contact the joy of sharing your abundant spirit, more spiritual wealth pours down from the heavens, bathing you in its light. Managing your money is provides another arena of practicing everyday enlightenment.

From that point of awareness, we turn now to the source of all beliefs—to the mind. It serves as a prison for some, but for you can also hold the key to freedom.

© Copyright 1998 by Dan Millman.  From the book “EVERYDAY ENLIGHTENMENT: The Twelve Gateways to Personal Growth” (Warner Books, 1998).

 

 

 

Dan Millman is featured in the transformative film Leap! The Movie. www.leapmovie.com

 

 

 

Dan Millman is a former world trampoline champion, Stanford gymnastics coach, and Oberlin college professor. His eleven books, including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Everyday Enlightenment, The Life You Were Born to Live, The Laws of Spirit, and Living on Purpose have inspired millions of readers in 20 languages worldwide.  His website: www.danmillman.com

From Conscious Loving to Super-Conscious Loving: by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks

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Up until very recently, the context of intimate relationships was colored heavily by survival fears. Although this is still true for many people, there is now a vast number of people for whom survival is not the main priority when they wake up each day. A focus on survival shapes the nature of relationship: For example, it makes it important to do one’s duty and steadfastly inhabit the roles prescribed by the social and religious authority structure of the time. In times past, less attention was paid to psychological or spiritual fulfillment, and techniques for problem-solving were essentially non-existent. Gay tells an illustrative story: “When I was in graduate school, I mentioned to my grandfather that I was in therapy to ‘handle some issues about my self-esteem.’ He asked me what therapy was, and chuckled as I explained it to him. I asked him how they handled such issues when he was a young man. ‘Issues, hell,’ he said, ‘We were too busy handling plows.’” He had run away from home at sixteen to avoid getting trapped in the role of a farmer.

Things changed as the twentieth century gained momentum. From our parents’ time up until the present, the context of relationship shifted toward “luxury-items” such as the fulfillment of potential. Movies, literature and other arts began to celebrate the transcendent possibilities of relationship–symbolized by the graceful dance of Fred and Ginger–and the Freudian revolution seemed to offer tools for handling problems when mis-steps caused us to tread on each other painfully.

Discover “The Relationship Solution” with Gay and Kathlyn HERE.

The New Context

It is a huge shift in context from survival (“handling plows”) to fulfillment (‘handling issues.”) In the survival-context, life is lived in waves of fear and hunger, with periods of relief from fear. In the fulfillment-context, life is lived in waves of fulfillment and the hunger for more. We believe, however, that the context is about to make an even larger shift, opening access to a new force-field electric with previously-hidden potential. We believe that relationships in the new millenium will shift toward a focus on appreciation and celebration. The focus will be on the flow of connection. As people become more sensitive to the flow of energy inside themselves and in their relationships, they are looking beyond traditional problem-solving and therapeutic techniques. They want life-skills they can use by-the-moment to awaken and enhance the flow of connection. The art of appreciating is the best way we’ve found to deepen the flow of connection. A single act of skillful committing or appreciating instantly shifts the relationship into a greater felt-sense of flow.

To imagine the kind of context-shift we’re talking about, think of a magician’s tablecloth trick. Picture two fabulous place-settings: Baccarat crystal glasses, Limoges china and your favorite silver. Imagine you and your beloved sitting down to dine amidst the beauty of the table-setting, when suddenly you realize the table cloth is made of…wax paper.

Quickly, though, you make a decision to enhance the quality of your life rather than despairing over it. You snap your fingers and a magician appears. With a wink and a smooth flourish, the magician whips the wax paper out from under the place settings without disturbing them. With another magical move, he slides a crisp linen tablecloth under the place-settings, without so much as rattling a teacup. Suddenly the essential beauty of what was there before is enhanced. Only one thing has changed, but everything has changed.

That’s not only a context-shift, it’s a conscious marriage of the power of your intention with your ability to create real magic.

That’s the domain of the new paradigm.

Practically Speaking

In the survival context , relationships exist inside the question, “What must we do to survive?” Considerable time is spent shoring up defenses against hostile forces and carrying out chores in the rut of routine. There is little time or energy to search for fulfillment. You are watching and listening for threats to your survival.

In the fulfillment context, we live inside different questions, such as “What must we do to fulfill our potential?” and “How can we solve the problems which are the barriers to expressing that potential?” Considerable attention is paid to the past, where the barriers were presumed to have been been originally erected. Considerable energy is consumed in power struggles about which partner bears responsibility for the barrier. You are watching and listening for how to meet the needs of others and whether your own needs are being met.

In the new paradigm, the questions are profoundly different than survival or fulfillment. Your relationships live within questions such as,

“What commitments do I need to embrace which will allow the relationship to flourish?”

“What do I really admire and love about my partner?”

“How can I best appreciate those qualities and actions?”

“What can I do to make myself more available for appreciation?”

Although you have good problem-solving techniques at your disposal, you do not focus as much on problems. Instead, you look for what’s right in the other person and in the relationship. You embark on a shared quest to find each other’s essential qualities so that they may be skillfully appreciated.

You initiate your entry into the new paradigm with a conscious choice. Imagine life as a waiter or waitress, offering you a menu with three choices on it:

•Living your life in waves of fear.

•Living your life in waves of fulfillment.

•Living your life in waves of celebration.

If you were going to pick one, what would your choice be?

In our relationship seminars, 99% of the participants choose celebration. There seems to be one or two people in every group who cannot imagine life without fear or the quest for fulfillment. Almost everyone else, though, sees that the conscious choice to organize your life around a context of appreciation opens up the greatest number of possibilities. If your life is about appreciation, you can celebrate even the days when your body is occupied by fear or your mind is pre-occupied with a potential you haven’t fulfilled.

If you listen closely to the communications of most couples, you will see that some of their utterances may be colored by survival concerns, but a majority of them are surrounded by an aura of fulfillment and the lack thereof. Specifically, communications come with expectations embedded within them–or disappointment and anger that those expectations have not been fulfilled. Nowadays, when a woman says to her husband, “You forgot to get the potatoes at the store,” she is not likely to be talking about a survival issue. More likely, the sub-text of the communication is “If you loved me, you would have remembered the potatoes,” or “If you loved me you would listen when I tell you what I need from the store.” She may be saying, “I don’t feel loved and appreciated, and here’s further evidence of why I have every right to feel that way.”

These patterns have a way of hardening into place with time, so that many couples develop rigidly predictable styles of thinking and communicating. One of our poet-friends came by to visit us after being at a party with many long-married couples. She lamented that most of the couples looked like “matched pairs of glazed pots.” That’s the effect of staying too long in an old paradigm.

The new paradigm extends out from partner-interactions to the larger arena of life-as-a-whole. In its broadest application, the new paradigm is about how to live your whole life from a stance of gratitude rather than a stance of scarcity. It’s about greeting each moment of life with an open heart rather than a judgmental mind. It asks you to express appreciation for no other reason than your decision to live a grateful life. Rather than waiting for life to bring experiences to you so that you can judge them worthy of appreciation, you initiate the new paradigm by taking a pro-active stance of gratitude toward your life-experience. You walk through life as a philanthropist rather than a supplicant, a producer rather than a consumer.

The difference is profound.

©  Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D. and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D.

Discover “The Relationship Solution” with Gay and Kathlyn HERE.

Life, Football and Divine Partnership?

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When you solely play life from your egoic perspective, you enjoy the experience in being fully in control…for awhile.
This is much like a quarterback who always calls his own plays.

Consider this scenario. You are down by 6 points 1 min left in the game….and it’s 4th and 20 with the ball on the 30 yard line.
Also, you have just been sacked 3 times in a row and you really had your clock cleaned with that last sack.
Your view of the field is severely limited by your vantage point and the fact that you can’t see straight.

Who do you think should be calling the next play? You with your current conditions or the offensive coordinator who is in the skybox?
You know the offensive coordinator who has been studying the defense the whole game and who sits in air conditioned comfort and calculates all the possibilities with each defensive lineup.
You ALL-ways have the opportunity to remember that the offensive coordinator is on your team. S/HE really wants you to win just as much as you do. S/HE has your best interest in mind.

Surrendering to the other part of you (in this case the other part of the team) that is not on the field getting pummeled each play may not be such a bad idea.

Who’s calling your plays? Your limited mind or your limitless Spirit?

You could let Inspiration guide you and trust that at the end of the day, it will have been much more enjoyable and rewarding this way.
Now, imagine showing up on the field of your life and doing what your inspiration (the offensive coordinator) tells you to.

Wow, I bet at the end of the game of life, you would be on your death bed saying, “I played full out and have ZERO regrets.”

That would be incredible! Will that be you?

-Ike Allen is the Founder of www.AVAIYA.com and believes life is a game…really.

Meditation: The Art of Letting Go by Peter Russell

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In order that the mind should see light instead of darkness, so the entire soul must be turned away from this changing world, until its eye can learn to contemplate reality and that supreme splendor which we have called the good. Hence there may well be an art whose aim would be to effect this very thing. ~Socrates

Meditation is the art of doing nothing. In today’s hectic, achievement-focused world we are almost always doing something. This “doing” mode is fueled by the belief that if only we did enough of the right things, had enough of the right experiences, earned enough money, or owned enough possessions we would be happy. As a result our minds are seldom, if ever, still. Instead we are busy fretting about what we should have done or said, planning what we should do or not do, say or not say, in the future, and worrying whether or not we will obtain the things and experiences we think we need to be happy.

Ironically this mental agitation deprives of the very thing we seek. In the final analysis we all want to be happy, to be more at peace in ourselves, yet a mind that is worried cannot, by definition, be a mind that is at peace.

This is why spiritual teachings the world over have recommended some or other form of meditation—some way of allowing the mind to become still, and thereby find the peace we seek.

The allowing is important. Meditation is not another mental activity, another form mental “doing.” Most techniques of stilling the mind are exercises in attention rather than exercises in thinking. You do not quiet the mind by changing what you think about, but by changing the direction and quality of your attention. In their own particular ways meditation techniques turn the attention away from the world of the senses—the world we thought would bring us peace of mind—and inwards towards our inner essence.

As the mind begins to settle down it discovers an inner calm and peace. The habitual mental chatter begins to fade away. Thoughts about what is going on in meditation, what time it is, what you might say or do later, occupy less and less of your attention. Your feelings settle down, and your breath can grow so gentle as to virtually disappear. What thoughts there are became fainter and fainter, until finally the thinking mind falls completely silent.

Indian teachings call this state samadhi, literally “still mind.” This, they claim, is a fundamentally different state of consciousness from the three major states we normally experience—waking, dreaming, and deep sleep.

In waking consciousness we are aware and experience the world perceived by the senses. In dreaming we are aware and experience worlds conjured by the imagination. In deep sleep there is no awareness, either of outer world or inner world. Samadhi they define as a fourth major state. There is awareness, one is wide-awake, but there is no object of the awareness. It is pure consciousness—pure in the sense of being unmodified by thoughts and images—consciousness without content.

In samadhi you know consciousness itself, in its unmanifest state, before it takes on the many forms and qualities of thinking, feeling, and sensory experience.

The Isha Upanishad, an ancient Indian text, says of this fourth state:

It is not outer awareness,
It is not inner awareness,
Nor is it a suspension of awareness.
It is not knowing
It is not unknowing,
Nor is it knowingness itself.
It can neither be seen nor understood,
It cannot be given boundaries.
It is ineffable and beyond thought.
It is indefinable.
It is known only through becoming it.

The Buddhist scholar D. T. Suzuki referred to it as a “state of Absolute Emptiness:”

There is no time, no space, no becoming, no thingness. Pure experience is the mind seeing itself as reflected in itself.… This is possible only when the mind is sunyata [emptiness] itself, that is, when the mind is devoid of all its possible contents except itself.

The Essence of Self

When you are in this state you discover a sense of self that is more real and more fundamental than any you have known before. You are no longer an individual person, with individual characteristics. Here, in the complete absence of all normal experience, you find your true identity, an identity with the essence of all beings and all creation.

Usually we derive our sense of self from the various things that mark us out as individuals—our bodies and their appearance, our history, our nationality, the roles we play, our work, our social and financial status, what we own, what others think of us, and so on. We also derive an identity from the thoughts and feelings we have, from our beliefs and values, from our creative and intellectual abilities, from our character and personality. These, and many other aspects of our lives, contribute to our sense of who we are.

Such an identity is, however, forever at the mercy of events, forever vulnerable, and forever in need of protection and support. If anything on which our identity depends changes, or threatens to change, our very sense of self is threatened. If someone criticizes us, for example, we may feel far more upset than the criticism warrants, responding in ways that have more to do with defending or reinforcing our damaged self-image than with addressing the criticism itself.

In addition to deriving an identity from how we experience ourselves in the world, we also derive a sense of self from the very fact that we are experiencing. If there is experience, then there must, we assume, be an experiencer; there must be an “I” who is doing the experiencing. It certainly feels that way. Whatever is going on in my mind, there is this sense that I am the subject of it all.

But what exactly is this sense of “I-ness?” I use the word “I” hundreds of times a day without hesitation. I say that I am thinking or seeing something, that I have a feeling or desire, that I know or remember something. It is the most familiar, most intimate, most obvious aspect of myself. I know exactly what I mean by “I.” Until, that is, I try to describe it or define it. Then I run into trouble.

Looking for the self is rather like being in a dark room with a flashlight, and then shining it around trying to find the source of the light. All one would find are the various objects in the room that the light falls upon. It is the same when I try to look for the subject of all experience. All I find are the various ideas, images and feelings that the attention falls upon. But these are all objects of experience; they cannot therefore be the subject of the experience.

Although the self may never be known as an object of experience, it can be known in another, more intimate and immediate, way. When the mind is silent, when all the thoughts, feelings, perceptions and memories with which we habitually identify have fallen away, then what remains is the essence of self, the pure subject without an object. What we then find is not a sense of “I am this” or “I am that;” but just “I am”.

In this state, you know the essence of self, and you know that essence to be pure consciousness. You know this to be your true identity. You are not a being who is conscious. You are consciousness. Period.

In the words of the great physicist Erwin Schrödinger:

What is this “I”?… You will, on close introspection, find that what you really mean by “I” is the ground-stuff upon which [experiences and memories] are collected.

No single moment of transcendence is likely to enlighten us forever. Our conditioning is so deep that it does not take long before we once again are caught up in our hopes, fears, worries and concerns. Once again start looking for external sources of fulfillment and get trapped in the “doing” mode. But a little taste of the meditative state remains, and our attachment to the world may not be quite as strong as it was before. This is why regular meditation practice is usually recommended—a daily dose of dehypnosis—a daily remembering of ourselves in our unconditioned state.

© Copyright Peter Russell. All Rights Reserved.

 

Peter Russell can be seen in the AVAIYA films Leap! & A Quantum Leap! at: www.leapmovie.com 

 

 

 

 

Peter Russell holds degrees in physics, psychology and computer science from the University of Cambridge, England, and is the author of several successful books including The Global Brain Awakens. The Brain Book, and Waking Up in Time.

His primary focus is the exploration and development of human consciousness, integrating eastern and western understandings of the mind, and elucidating their relevance to the world today and to humanity’s future. He was one of the first people to introduce human potential seminars into the corporate field, and for twenty years has been lecturing and consulting to major companies on creativity and personal development.

The above article is adapted from his new book From Science to God: The Mystery of Consciousness and the Meaning of Light. Here he recounts both his own spiritual journey and explores a new worldview in which consciousness is a fundamental aspect of reality, leading to a new synthesis of science and spirituality. Full details along with full extracts can be found on his website http://www.peterussell.com.