Life seems to present us with a never-ending series of hurdles, issues, difficulties and out-and-out disasters, does it not? Well, actually, no! There is nothing that happens to us that cannot be seen, once we change our minds, to hold a gift or a miracle within it.

The ego and the Holy Spirit, mutually exclusive, are two parts of our minds. The ego is not a malevolent being; it is merely a belief we hold. To the ego, there are problems. To the Holy Spirit, there are no problems – only opportunities. It is up to us to decide which we listen to.

Everything that happens in my life happens for a purpose. I can choose the purpose. I can choose it to serve the ego’s purpose – to keep me stuck, in pain and turmoil – or I can use what happens for the Holy Spirit’s purpose, as an opportunity for learning and growth.

For example, I recently taught a workshop in Norway. Having established all the details several months in advance, I was all set to go. Two days before my departure, I learned that my co-facilitator and I would receive only a small fraction of the pay we had expected. Unbeknownst to me, a residential retreat weekend had been arranged; the participants provided with two nights’ lodging and two days’ meals – paid for out of the workshop fee. My co-facilitator and I would, consequently, be paid only what was left. In effect, we would be paying for participants’ board and lodging out of our pockets.

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I was shocked, angry, disappointed and bewildered in equal measure. When I told the Norwegian promoter how I was feeling, she asked if I wanted to cancel the weekend. Without hesitation, I replied that we would be there and that I was sure it would work out. I was determined to see this differently and to accept it regardless – but I felt sick.

It turned out that the retreat centre was beautiful, located amongst wooded hills 100 miles southwest of Oslo. It had been snowing and the setting was idyllic. The group of 14 participants was delightful, the food provided was wonderful, and the workshop was a great success. I had an excellent weekend. It was a gift.

On the Sunday night following the workshop, the promoter invited my co-facilitator and me into her stunning home, where we stayed for two days. That night I sat with her to discuss the issue that had arisen. Even though I considered the weekend a gift, I hadn’t yet forgiven the mix-up and lack of communication. We both shared how we felt about the events five days earlier. As I heard her speak of how ashamed she felt and how much she believed she had failed by not informing me what was being planned and how it would affect us, my heart went out to her. Suddenly, I felt nothing but warmth, empathy and closeness to her. It was a beautiful moment of joining – my second gift.

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 ”The truth is simple, being one for all.” -A Course in Miracles

I could have chosen to see the situation as a problem, even as a disaster, and closed myself to the miracles and healing opportunities available. I am grateful that I chose to see it differently, receiving the gifts that were the inevitable result of changing my mind.

Perhaps we can begin to welcome problems for what they truly offer us, opportunities to let go, to forgive, love, and remember the truth.

Ian Patrick is Manager/Coordinator of Miracle Network, publisher of “Miracle Worker” magazine, serving students of A Course in Miracles in the UK since 1994.

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From the Right Mind of AVAIYA Founder, iKE ALLEN

Nicole Casanova: My Romance with A Course in Miracles

I have been a lover of The Course for over ten years. I came to its teachings when I was young and full of lust, yearning, defiance, judgment and sadly, destruction. I was Nikki Casanova- overachiever extraordinaire and self-proclaimed Victim of the World.

I had had my share of abusive relationships and traumatizing situations. I can tell stories about my parent’s behavior that might shock you. I can tell you stories about my behavior as a result of said behavior that will do more than shock. They might make you cry. As terrible as it was, I loved my story. The story became my identity. It became my excuse, my get-out-of-jail-free card and for that reason, I clung to my story for dear life. It allowed me to avoid being whole. The story, with its graphic details of denial and denigration, explained my gaping holes.  It provided a very sensible reason for why and gave me the great joy of never having to take responsibility.

My dad stopped working when I was ten to seek his own brand of self-help. My mother, dealing with her own self-prescribed fixes for mental illness (She took the Dachau motto “Work will Set you Free” to heart), resented him for it. Years of fighting later, she took up target practice. One of my only memories from childhood that still remains is seeing her best shots to the head and heart posted above his side of the bed. Eventually after I had convinced them to get divorced, he sued her for alimony and my understanding of what love was and was not, was solidified.

I grew up in Miami when dating the biggest drug dealer was a sign of status and VIP was the only way to go (I suppose in Miami it still is). Being a proponent of women’s lib and a self-described entrepreneur, I made my own money in the trade to prove I could. Always the star student, I did undergrad in three years and had my Masters at 22.  I moved to San Francisco to put my thesis, Targeted Marketing on the Web, into practice. I went from Coke Princess to Dotcom Queen.

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I loved excess. I did everything big. One year I even oversold my quota by $6.5 million. I lived the glamorous life with all the darkness that comes with it. My self-worth was directly correlated to how skinny, tan, wealthy, connected or wanted I felt I was. My identity was solely a product of external inputs. I was dying. At least I wanted to die. I was sure that by 27 I’d be dead and couldn’t wait to hurry things up. Then I’d be able to get some rest. I could go to sleep. I’d finally be at peace.

The Attraction

When I was 25, I was introduced to A Course in Miracles and I went through a very intensive process designed to unwire my personal mythologies. Note the phrase “personal mythology”… these really were the myths that I had formulated.

This was the basic story line. They were my overarching themes:

“No one, especially a man, will ever be there for you.”

“The more you do, the more you will be loved.”

“There’s never enough ____________.” Fill in the blank- money, time, attention, love.

As the daughter of an Italian Catholic father and a Russian Jewish mother, I had my judgments about organized religion. However, The Course and the discussions that ensued were more similar to my philosophy courses in college than to any sermon I had heard. Ten years of actively destroying myself through any and every addiction, couldn’t muffle a voice within that said, “Listen.”  It was exactly what I needed to hear and the way I needed to hear it. I was finally open to listening and what I heard resonated with my soul.

The Course said that I was responsible for what I created. More importantly, the Course said that we are all perfect, whole and complete. Until then, I was pretty sure that I was unlovable or not good enough depending on the situation. The Course spoke simple truths that I’d always known- we are all connected, love is our birthright, and all things are lessons God would have me learn. There were points that seemed counterintuitive to what I’d been taught or absolute opposites from what my family believed; yet they made perfect sense to me.

I understood “All that I give I receive,” “In my Defenselessness my safety lies,” and “Sickness is a defense against the truth.”  I had majored in Creative Writing and Philosophy and have always been drawn to the power of words and ideas. Now I was gifted with a poetic message that spoke directly to my soul. “Love waits on welcome not on time,” “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait,” and “Defenses are but foolish guardians of mad illusions.” What I knew yet was unwilling to admit, and what I believed yet needed to see in writing, was all there. It said, “If you want love, be love. If you want peace, be peace.” I was hooked.

It was the application of the lesson to my everyday life that really made the concepts stick for me. I started attending Monday night CIM meetings where each of us shared how we applied our daily lesson from the Course to our lives. I learned to witness my thoughts, to see what I was thinking in the moment, and saw my experiences as a direct result of my belief about what I was. For the first time ever, I learned that my thoughts created my reality and that what I felt internally was exactly what showed up for me externally. For example, when I felt “not good enough,” you could bet I was buying the next round of drinks and when I felt I was love, I was at peace and centered. I started to see all of my experiences as gifts that held some lesson for me.

The Inspiration

At 26, I confounded everyone when I quit my mega high salary dream job. I was selling Internet advertising during the boom and let’s just say I was in the right place at the right time. However, the long hours and the large paychecks still had me questioning, “What’s the purpose?” I had read every self-help book and studied all these eastern principles and knew that it was time for me to make my contribution.

I decided to make it my mission to create a tool that explained just that, and was accessible to the masses. It showed up as a board game called Shift. Yeah, it surprised me too. Yet, because it was experiential, people were willing to step out of their comfort zones and start seeing what was driving them.

The Course was my main impetus for creating Shift. I wanted to deliver these principles to a larger audience. I wanted the Course’s messages to be interactive so that a younger audience would benefit. I wanted to distill all of these universal principles into something that people who weren’t lighting incense in Boulder or Berkeley could experience.  Knowing that I could choose my reality was the single most important thing I had learned in my life and I wanted to empower other people with that same knowledge.

I quit my job in 2001. I worked on Shift for the next few years. We incorporated in 2003. The product hit the shelves Christmas 2005. We created a physical board game that incorporated much of the Courses lessons. The game allowed us to open the discussion, pinpoint what was driving people’s behavior and give them a first look at why they did what they did. For the first time, people not only saw that their thoughts created their reality they could actually identify what those thoughts were. The lessons from the Course gave players the path to move from fear to love and drop their defenses. We sold the game around the country, did game nights and workshops. We ran out of money.

My Old Standby

I thought it would be easy. After all, I had a Masters in marketing and public relations and I sold Internet advertising for years. I thought it would spread like wildfire because I had chosen the more purposeful path. I thought we would receive tons of word of mouth marketing, that we’d need no money to really push a brand into retail and that the doors would open and the skies would part.

I believed in Shift and my new life of purpose. I trusted that the universe had my back. I went through everything including my IRA and eventually there was nothing left but a recurring discussion with my very patient husband about when things would change.

I let my employees (more like saviors and Shift champions) go. I pulled back. I resented Shift and God and myself. I went through a period of grief. I had failed my baby. I got a job, then another, and finally settled with a position at a company that took my interest in behavior change one step further. It actually cemented the learning process by giving people a way to apply what they learned. After eight years, I now had a consistent salary, health insurance and the ability to breathe. I started to attract new things. I remembered my true identity- love. I refined. I enhanced. I embraced.

I let Shift go and it came back. I made a movie, got an investor and even launched the online version with multi-person video chat. Now anyone, anywhere in the world could play… for free. Shift’s mission, to remind as many people as possible that we are love and loved, was finally coming to fruition.

Shift morphs, as do I. The Course and the words in it stay the same.

All of this time, the Course stood by my side, my bedside that is. Eventually it was given its own spot in an area that I had dedicated to my inconsistent meditation practice. It sat on its altar with other altar-type amulets, rocks, a statue of some Hindu-god I’ve yet to identify, a picture of my mother and sister in Kenya with the Masai, and a picture of an island in Thailand that reminds me that I’ve known peace.

Like my meditation practice, my relationship to the Course is inconsistent. It always has been and I’m ok with it. It is like my relationship to God. It’s always there waiting to remind me that I am loved. As an aside, when I started reading the Course I was sure I could get through it and never say the word God or acknowledge that relationship. I was all about spirit or universe, anything but the dreaded G word. It took me three years of reading the Course to finally say the word God. I know now that to the extent that I remember to connect with the Course, my Self or God, the more I remember how connected and loved I am. The Course has always sat patiently waiting to share the gifts within it. Every time I’ve opened its pages, there’s always something perfectly said and perfectly applicable. The Course is my reminder.

A Course in Miracles gave me the courage to finally look within. It has been my comfort when I’ve believed that I am totally lost. I have incorporated the Course into so much that I do and believe. The Course is why I quit my job. The Course is why I stopped destroying myself. The Course is why I started Shift; its words are a major component of the game. I read the Characteristics of God’s Teachers multiple times a year, I have a copy on my fridge and I included it in Shift’s Teacher’s Training. The Course is how I found my soul mate. It is how we grow our relationship. Even my wedding vows drew from the courses teachings.

I have the same book that I started with. The pages are a rainbow of colors, highlights, underlines and notes. I use pictures of people that I love as bookmarks. I like seeing their faces and I know the Course blesses them too. The indigo blue spine cracked years ago. I taped it. Years later, the entire spine broke apart leaving the cover to dangle unprotected. I sourced my childhood self and used a brown grocery bag to fashion a book cover. My brown paper jacket offers sturdy protection and a place to use colored markers. However, I know that my makeshift jacket need not work hard to keep my Course in Miracles book safe. Its message, “Nothing real can be threatened… Nothing unreal exists… Herein lies the peace of God,” is within me now.

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From the Right Mind of AVAIYA Founder, iKE ALLEN

Nicole Casanova, an avid learner and student of A Course in Miracles and all universal principles, has constantly been drawn to psychology, philosophy and what makes people tick. Having focused her online marketing years learning how to incent behavior, she then focused on creating individual and organizational behavior change starting from the level of thought. She’s now turned her interests towards learning transfer and follow-through systems so that people can take their awareness, apply it and truly make a shift.